If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
