He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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