North Korea, Best Korea!
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
