I wish I only lived at night.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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