I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
