what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
