No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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