...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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