Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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