..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I understand Curling. That high.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I love you.
Bad choice
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