I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
