We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
