come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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