I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
