I got chris browned last night
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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