well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
