suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
