how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
