that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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