1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
