I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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