I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
