It's Friday. Sex?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
