No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
