man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
