The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
