Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
