pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
