yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
