My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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