Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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