Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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