Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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