What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
