Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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