the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
