So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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