I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Randomize
