i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just high enough for therapy.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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