Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
