dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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