i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
