you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
