Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
not ubering you a puppy
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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