Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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