Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
