There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
