you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
