A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
