How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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