I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
