I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
