You made me cry and you don't even care
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
