At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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